How Hosting Shabbat Has Shaped My Queer & Jewish Identities

“We need more gay friends,” my husband Alex declared at dinner one night late last year. It seemed less like a complaint and more like prescriptive advice as one would pick up from Dr. Oz, like getting more fiber in your diet or burning anything in your fridge that contains lectins.

“We have plenty of gay friends,” I shot back, only to realize after going through the virtual rolodex in my head that I responded prematurely. We did in fact have very few gay friends, most of which were exes that we were there out of convenience. As we’ve watched coworkers and acquaintances galavanting with their gaggles of gays, we realized that we wanted that same sense of queer community.